Dad Jokes

I was thinking about moving to Moscow but there is no point Russian into things.

I used to work at a stationery store. But, I didn't feel like I was going anywhere. So, I got a job at a travel agency. Now, I know I'll be going places.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed? Because he has low elf esteem.

Pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in The Bahamas. These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.

Why did the miner get fired from his job? He took it for granite...

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk? A fowl smell!

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.